i've always been fascinated with bipolar disorder, especially since i believe it has a notion of humanism. we are all wavering, some more so then others, and to diagnose this as an infestation, a disease, is silly to me.
of course, all of these instances of mood intensity are different. what i consider silly in my own light might be a burden for someone else, it all depends on situation. my most recent ex diagnosed me with manic depression, i feel it isn't accurate. i do believe it's a disease, such as depression, but i just don't see how ridding of it will do myself any good. medication is not an option in my case, i have learned, because most of them just leave me sicker. i decided my issues are not based on chemical imbalances, but rather, my perception of them.
for those of you who haven't met me in real life (the vast majority), by my caustic journal entries, you would probably think of me as a downcast pessimist who usually keeps to themselves. that is an aspect of who i am, though, not my only face.
for those of you who have, you would probably describe me as humorous, outspoken, childlike, wide eyed, dream-like, and freakishly friendly when i'm in a good mood. a naturally high person.
i am a constantly wavering person. i do have bipolar disorder, i've just never seen it as a disorder. i try to deal with my wavering as it comes, full heartedly living it in every aspect
the drugs make me sick and the helpful conversations make me dwell. i like living like this better because everything feels worthwhile.